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Angered By Red Chinese Human Rights Violations, President Obama Takes Drastic Action Against Hu Jintao

By Sam Starrett

 

August 11, 2011

Washington, D.C.–Today President Obama announced that in light of Chinese President Hu Jintao’s stubborn refusal to comply with Obama’s demands for greater human rights reform in China, he will be forced to unfriend the Communist dictator on Facebook.

The weapon the President plans to use has been held in reserve for a long time due to its devastating power. Says White House Policy Analyst Mitch Bromley, “I honestly didn’t think the President would take such drastic action. When I think of the precedent this sets, it scares me a lot.”

I spoke personally with President Obama about the drastic measure he was about to take. “After much key deliberation with key White House advisors,” said the President, “I have decided to remove President Hu from my Facebook page.”

I asked him if that was really necessary and reminded him of the international repercussions that could result from the precedent set by this below-the-belt attack. The President replied “I am fully aware of the dangers that may result from this decision, but we cannot let human rights violations in China go on unchecked. I will take full responsibility for any international problems this causes.”

I spoke with a top military official who preferred to remain nameless. He said this: “I’m absolutely flabbergasted. This level of conflict has not been seen by the U.S. Military since the Cold War. Nevertheless, President Obama is our Commander-in-Chief and we will stand behind him 100 per cent.”

Many conservative pundits, however, fear that China will retaliate against the U.S. and even against U.S. allies such as the United Kingdom and Germany. Analysts fear that a massive wave of unfriending between heads of state may spring up all over the world, prompting the cutting of diplomatic and trade ties and precipitating the devastation of the world economy.

Rambling Royalist News will be following this issue closely and will provide further coverage as events warrant.

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