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Dear Reader,

The Powers that Be have instructed me that I must give equal time to those whom I despise to promote their [REDACTED] progressive agenda. With that in mind, I have launched a new series, dedicated to exposing the flaws of monarchy, with quotes straight from the horse’s mouth. It is called Compelling Arguments for Republicanism, and I am [REDACTED] to introduce to you, straight from the front page of Republic UK’s website, two key arguments for abolishing the British Crown:

#1: It’s not fair!

And…

#2: It would make the space aliens happy.

Here’s the exact quote from James Blair:

If aliens landed on earth, they would laugh at our ludicrous system based on historic birth-right. Abolishing the monarchy will allow us to have a fairer form of government.

And just so you can know I didn’t make it up, here’s a screengrab from republic.org.uk:

In the interests of fairness, I,  the owner of the blog, have been permitted 140 characters to make a reply. It can be found below.

I would point out that many space aliens, in fact, have monarchies. Recall DC’s Queen Bee or Buzz Lightyear’s Tangean monarchy.

Sincerely,

Samuel C. Starrett

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